It was the most selfless choice I have ever made. I was 21, just graduated college, and trying to figure out my next move in life. I was working a job that was not in my field, living in my hometown again, and just feeling overwhelmed by the sudden changes in my life. My boyfriend and I were rocky due to us being two hours apart from one another.
I got pregnant at my brothers going away party. I was hardly even 4 weeks when I found out, I just knew something wasn’t right. I remember buying the pregnancy sticks after I had a few beers just for giggles. I didn’t cry. I just stared. I was in complete denial.
I hardly remember calling my boyfriend. I didn’t say anything, I just sobbed into the phone. I remember him asking me if I was pregnant and my response was more sobs. I have always been pro-choice and always assumed if I got myself into this situation it would be an easy answer. I cried, but it was a strange thing. I never really cried for myself, I cried for my unborn child. I cried at the life they would have if I was to bring them into this world.
I set up the appointment at Planned Parenthood and I was able to take the pill. I was numb during the whole process, but knew I was making the right choice. I struggled with the ultrasound, I never looked at it because I thought it was for the best. I took the first pill and felt immediate relief. I remember having a smile on my face and feeling a new start. My boyfriend and I struggled after I had the abortion, we each were grieving in our own ways. We are stronger than ever a year later. I am a graduate student working on my MSW hoping to go into the field working with adolescent pregnancy. Is it a tough choice? Yes, the toughest I have ever made. But selfish? Never.