I had to have a shot when I was 17 to start having periods, and then went on the pill, even though I wasn’t sexually active, to correct the severe hormonal imbalance that I had, regulate my periods and dissolve the cysts. Had that not worked I would have had to have surgery to remove the cysts. I was told for years that due to this, there was scarring left on my ovaries that would leave me barren. I was actually glad to hear this, never having wanted to have children. I came from an extremely abusive background, and was not about to continue that generational cycle of abuse. I essentially had to raise myself, and completely recreate myself through years of therapy to become a productive, happy, high functioning adult. When I was 32, I had reconnected with someone that I’d been involved with in my mid-twenties. It was dysfunctional, but I had to reengage to figure that out and finish it. I figured out that I was pregnant quickly. I felt poisoned, and was so sick I couldn’t get out of bed. My abdomen was already expanding to the point that I could barely zip my jeans. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was not meant to bear children and be a mother in this lifetime, and he couldn’t deal with anything smacking of responsibility. When I was 7 weeks pregnant, I had an abortion, and the only thing I felt was an overwhelming sense of relief, and a strong resolve to never allow this to happen again, and it never did-birth control pills, iuds, condoms….had I carried to term, I would have a 24 year old child now, and I have no whimsical regrets about my actions; nor do I fantasize about, ‘what might have been…’ I have spent a large % of this lifetime helping others in many ways-people living with HIV/AIDS, addiction recovery counseling, and have myself been clean and sober for over 29 years.