Barbara J.

I am 77 years old. I was a virgin until I was 21 and didn’t sleep around. When I was 22 I was date raped, got pregnant, and couldn’t find a safe way to have an abortion. I had a healthy, baby girl who, because of my family circumstances, I felt I had to give up. I had cause to believe she was given to a good couple who desperately wanted a baby. For the next 6 – 7 years I grieved, did not have any self-worth and became promiscuous. About 2 years later I got pregnant again. Still no “pill” or abortion available. Rather than kill myself (a thought I entertained) I “performed” an abortion on myself (being an O.R. nurse I knew sterile technique and took a couple of catheters and prep material from work). No one knew of my plan and I never felt so alone and scared. However, when one is desperate a person will do most anything. I NEVER felt guilty I aborted myself, but the guilt and sadness for my baby girl has NEVER left me.