I don’t have the best memory, but I believe the first time I was around 11 weeks pregnant. I’ve never wanted children, so it was an easy decision for me. I was scared, but only because I dont do well with pain and everything I’d heard about abortions made them seem very painful. On the day of my appointment, I just remember sitting in a waiting room with a few other women. At one point they called us back one by one to insert an I.V. I remember my heart pounding walking to the procedure room, laying on the table. The doctor came in and calmly told me everything he was going to do, and the nurse started the i.v medication. All I really remember is feeling pain, I remember the nurse holding my hand and stroking my hair, telling me it’ll be okay. Yes, the first one was very painful for me, but I wouldn’t change it.
The second, when I was 25 was a harder decision to make. My life was going downhill fast, and I told myself that if I have this baby, maybe itll give me a chance to be a better person, even though I still never wanted children. But it didnt quite work out like that. You see, I have endometriosis, a bladder disease, and had benign tumors all over my uterus. So going a little further with this pregnancy than the last was very awful, and extremely painful for me. I finally realized the pain wasnt worth it, and that a child that I never wanted wouldn’t make me a better person. So I went in for my abortion at almost 13 weeks pregnant. This time it was a breeze, different doctor but same caring personality as the first. Amazing nurses who were by my side the whole time, and with the mild advancement in medicine, i fell asleep through the whole procedure and didnt feel a thing. I was happy the pregnancy was finally over, it was like a weight had been lifted off of my chest.
I’ve had a little sadness here and there over the years about it, but I would never change the decisions I made.