I never thought I’d ever have one. I tried to conceive for months after finally going off birth control and miscarried. It was devastating enough to end my marriage. I didn’t know anyone who had a miscarriage, it’s like it darkened my life. I thought an abortion would be easier than another miscarriage. Yes you can really want to have babies and still have an abortion. A few years later I was relocating and finally found a man who wanted kids. We still used natural family planning and early withdrawal. We told ourselves a pregnancy would be celebrated. Then I realized my fiance was a mess. He suddenly quit his job and was threatening to kill his father. I had gotten a job and was about to start working again. We were broke. I suddenly got nausea so severe I couldn’t leave the house. After a few days I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant. No way I could start work like this! I applied for public assistance and contacted charities. I didn’t qualify for any help at all. My family was religious and would not have accepted a child outside of marriage and they were telling me to leave him because he was crazy. I found out my boyfriend’s ex also had an abortion. That man never had kids to this day! I’m guessing his women all ran. I knew I had to stop this nausea and get back to work. I took the abortion pill, managed to keep it down. I didn’t like the clinic but I felt ok again shortly after the first pill. I started my work orientation still bleeding but I felt safe, given another chance at life! I swore I’d never let myself sink so low again and became very elitist and cautious about everything.
My next pregnancy was planned, I had a late miscarriage. I actually had healthcare at this point and realized there was a good chance my abortion would have miscarried as well. I wouldn’t have had the kids I do now if I didn’t abort that child. The man I ended up marrying refused to date women with kids. Very unfair because he has kids, but that’s the attitude a lot of people looking for a spouse have. My point is, every abortion situation is so different, we can’t make the decision for anyone. I have gotten a lot of hate from people who say I shouldn’t have had sex. Some say I should have had the baby and adopted it out. If I managed to avoid living on the street and had a healthy baby despite no money or insurance I’m sure DCS would have taken the child away and I’d have a felony neglect charge! I would have been more upset having foster care take the baby than I would be about aborting.