My abortion is associated with so many emotions. They come at unexpected times, but they always go quickly.
While it may have taken me time to be completely at peace with my decision, I now feel that it gave me a new chance at life. I was able to prevent an inappropriate and toxic relationship from becoming a permanent part of my life and for that, I am forever thankful.
It was January 2014 when I got pregnant; I was 23. My live-in boyfriend (30) was still married and had two children of his own with two different women. My plan from the start was to keep the baby even if I had to raise it alone but he decided abortion was the only option. It was a daily fight for two months and he told me it must be kept hidden until a final decision was made. He drank more and more, growing increasingly abusive (emotionally, physically, sexually) while in return I became depressed and even suicidal. His threats had me feeling forced into abortion, but eventually it became clear that having this child maybe wasn’t the best option for me. I would either be a single mom or would be stuck dealing with this man in my life for the next 18+ years, I wasn’t exactly financially stable, mentally I had become a mess and imagine having to tell the world you were having a married mans baby? I felt alone and panicked. I felt no matter what choice was made it would be the wrong one.
I had my abortion on March 19th, 2014. My heart ached as I signed my forms and even when I walked away from Planned Parenthood that day, I was still unsure if I had made the right choice. Fast forward and It’s been almost a year now. I quit the job I had been so miserable at and found something I’m passionate about, my boyfriend and I parted ways almost immediately and I reported him, I reconnected with an ex and we have the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been a part of and I feel I’ve begun to find myself again. I have plans and goals for my future that just wouldn’t be possible if I was raising a child right now. I do plan to have children someday, but not until I’m ready. In the end, I’m incredibly thankful that I had the choice to have my abortion. It changed my life for the better.