I wasn’t raped or physically abused. I was 17 and dumb and still very much a child myself. My parents weren’t around much and I wanted so badly to feel loved by a guy. I thought you achieved this love through sex. Clearly I had a lot of self-esteem issues. When my period was late I knew something was wrong. I went into a deep state of denial and my boyfriend at the time…we’ll call him Alex… backed up that denial. I didn’t know who to turn to or where to go. This is what hurts the most: I waited much longer than I should’ve to seek help. Finally I confirmed the pregnancy and underwent an abortion with my loving parents by my side. Alex was very jealous, obsessive, immature, and came from a broken and dysfunctional home. I knew I did not love him and I did not want to have a child with him or continue the relationship. Looking back it was a very unhealthy teen relationship. He didn’t ask to go with me to the clinic. I didn’t really want him to though.
The doctors were nothing but nice and supportive. I didn’t feel like an awful person when I was around them. But people in my small high school started to talk. Alex broke up with me via text when I came home from the clinic that sad day. It hurt but it was for the best.
I have no regrets. Zero. The whole situation still hurts sometimes. I have vivid memories and then certain things are very blurry. When the controversial topic of abortion comes up I feel very uncomfortable. I wish I would’ve waited until I was more mature to have sex. I am thankful I had the right to do what I wanted with my body. I hope to have children with my current partner in a few years and I will do everything I can to teach my daughters and/or sons to practice safe sex when they are truly mature and ready.
These days everything is going great. I am in a mature and healthy relationship with a man that I am deeply in love with. We’ve talked a lot about marriage and children and are both so excited for that chapter of our lives. I have a career that I enjoy and am so hopeful for the future. Life is good again.
If my story can help at least one woman feel they are not alone then it was definitely worth sharing.