I had an abortion at age 26. At the time I was 3 years into a relationship, but it was rocky, and neither of us felt prepared to commit to raising a family. I live in Canada where there isn’t nearly the powerful vitriol aimed at women’s reproductive rights, but there are still factions, and the funny part was that I called a number I saw on a bus sign “pregnant? don’t know what to do?” without properly researching (the internet was not as fully evolved then as it is now) and ended up at a pro-life headquarters asking for an abortion.
A nice middle-aged lady gently talked to me about all of my other options, but I firmly insisted that I wanted an abortion, and it was only when she wouldn’t give me any useful information that I realized I was in the wrong place.
Once I did find the right place, it was handled in a clinical and professional way. They did ask me how I felt, I did express that I felt guilty, since 26 and having a university degree behind me didn’t give me the “way too young” excuse, but I was sure I wanted to go through with it. I remember it as uncomfortable but not unbearably painful.
The relationship with the would-be-father dissolved a little while after that. We went our own ways for awhile, but almost a decade (and many experiences) later we reunited. We had both grown up a lot, in terms of priorities and perspective. I’d mentally shelved the abortion since then, really hadn’t thought much about it, and then one day during casual chat he asked “I wonder how old that kid would be now” and I answered instantly “8”. I hadn’t even realized I’d been keeping track, somewhere in the back of my mind. Weird.
Well, we ended up finally getting pregnant on purpose together. Late in the game, when we were both ready, and it’s been wonderful. I’m not particularly religious, and I don’t want to be trite, but I do like to dream that that little soul we weren’t ready for when I was 26 waited to come to us at the right time.
Now we have a wonderful 2-yr old, we’ve married, and we have another one on the way!
No regrets. We’ve often joked (but quite seriously) that if we’d had a baby then, we’d be divorced, for sure. I don’t think that’s selfish. I think that’s smart, for all of the souls involved.