10.05.2015
Media

I didn’t even know I was pregnant till I was five months along.

I had sex exactly once and I was clueless (and anorexic). I was a frightened, timid, terrified teen…pregnant with a sweet flamingly gay guy… Doing that thing queer teens sometimes do “maybe if I have sex with my best friend it means I’m straight”. I was a horrifically abused child and somehow had the wherewithal to know I might continue that pattern. Suicide was an option I very seriously considered.

The abortion was pretty horrific too. Those early ones carried a lot of shaming and pain. However, the backstreet alternative ( which I had a lead on) would likely have killed me. As it turned out the fetus, extremely malnourished, would likely have died too or had horrifying health issues.
I had one of the FIRST legal abortions in California.

My boyfriend’s mother, a nurse, a devout Catholic and my ‘substitute mom’ noticed I must be pregnant and, luckily for me, got me to a clinic that was not a back alley.

I consider my sons to have an older brother ( the hospital made me have an induced miscarriage and made me look) and although I honor that spirit I have no regrets about that choice at all.

15 years later I had Kenny. Two years later Dan. And five years after that Sammy.

The right to choose spared my life. There’s one less abused/ neglected kid out there and my sons have a better mom than I would have been otherwise.

This is my story. It is messy and painful and hard for me to share. I am weeping as I post this. I support every woman’s right to choose. stand with Planned Parenthood for ALL that they do.