I waited for a long time to have sex, holding off many boyfriends, wanting to wait. I was in my 20s, and my relationship with my best friend was evolving into more, and it seemed like I had waited long enough and I might as well see what it was all about.
I was naive about it, and believed him when he said he thought he was infertile. The first month after we “did it”, I didn’t get my period. I was pissed, mad, felt invaded. I just wanted it gone, out. No question, no hesitation. By this time, I had realized that we had been better “friends” than “more than friends,” and there was no way I was going to be tied to him for the rest of my life by having a child together. I was kid, I was just getting started in my life. A child was not an option, no way.
I was raised in a pro-life home. My parents attended rallies, and I saw films with baby parts in buckets. But what really stuck with me was seeing a card on our refrigerator. Even as a child, I looked at the image representing how many babies had been aborted, and I thought – what if all of those babies had been born into homes where they were not wanted, where the parents couldn’t take care of them. I thought – it was probably for the better.
But it wasn’t until it happened to me that I really understood what pro-choice means. I took control of my own body, and I am so thankful that I had that choice. I am now a mother of two, and I have no regrets, and never did. Even more, now, I understand the requirements of being a parent, and what you have to be willing and able to give to your child. Now I can do that. I had a chance to live my life, to grow, mature, get an education, have a career. And now I am taking time off to raise my beautiful children, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
If my child is ever in the same situation, I would support her to make whatever decision feels right to her. I will trust her to own her body.
I also know now, having a baby has permanent effects on a woman’s body. People flippantly say, have the baby and give it up for adoption, but that was never an option for me. I couldn’t “disappear” for 6 months to secretly have a baby. Going through a pregnancy is traumatic, the birth process is crazy, the physical and emotional effects are lifelong.
Ending the pregnancy was a choice that I do not regret and I am not ashamed of. As an adult, I look back at my 20-something self, and I am proud that I made the right choice for me.