02.24.2015
Media

I was 33, divorced with two little boys. I was struggling to provide for them. My doctor discovered a breast lump and I had no health insurance and was terrified about who would take care of my boys if I died.

At the breast clinic the doctor declared that my lump was benign and gave me a paper he had written that associated benign breast lumps with a woman’s failure to ovulate. He made me think I didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant so I wasn’t careful enough about birth control with my boyfriend. Next thing I knew I was pregnant.
My boyfriend was nice but, like my husband before him, not a reliable worker. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to care for my sons and a new child – I was already just barely getting by with working and a tiny amount of child support. I did not want another child and I decided to ask God to give this new child to someone who did want it. I felt there was nothing worse than bringing an unwanted child into the world. A recent news article about an adopted little girl in New york city who was beaten to death by her adopted father caused me to rule out adoption. I decided to have a very early abortion and prayed that God would give the child to someone who would want and love it. I believed that God might honor this prayer for a miracle.
Just after high school one of my best friends had an illegal abortion in Mexico. When she returned she began hemorrhaging and was hospitalized. Thank God she lived and recovered. I believe the woman is in the best position to know if she can raise a child properly and if she has the support of the father and her family. If that support is not there – as it so often is not – and she decides to have an abortion I think a safe, affordable, legal abortion must be available for her locally.