I was 18 when I gave birth to our first child. My boyfriend and I gave her up for adoption, under duress because we had moved to another state, our families didn’t know and we felt pressure from an agency that didn’t care about our well being.
We were raised catholic and felt the guilt that was the norm 35 yrs ago. I became pregnant 2 yrs later even though I had been extremely meticulous with birth control. Of course there isn’t any birth control that’s 100% but It still made me feel awful. The adoption had caused a major shift in the person I had been. Severe depression, PTSD and many other problems made the decision to have an abortion as a practical choice for my health. My boyfriend and I stayed together and married years later and had another beautiful baby. In our mid 40s we decided on a vasectomy but the week before he had it I realized I was pregnant. To say we were surprised is an understatement. I couldn’t possibly have a child because I had horrible morning sickness that lasted my whole pregnancy and I was taking medication for depression still and a few other things and I knew we didn’t have it in us to raise another child. We sat on the couch holding hands that long weekend, him sore from the vasectomy and me in the process of the abortion pill knowing we made the right decision. We all need these options at different times in our lives. Adoption is a completely different avenue and people that suggest that as an easy option don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. There are stigmas surrounding that choice as well. The reasons a person chooses abortion are personal and varied, as my experience shows. It’s no ones business why the choice is made because every reason is different and deserves privacy. It’s hard to condense a life into a couple of paragraphs and convey why choice is important to all women. It should always be a right.