11.26.2014
Media

I applied to boarding school in the spring. Throughout the summer I was excited for this amazing opportunity. I had a boyfriend. We were having unprotected sex.

I went to the doctors because I was coming down with something, and i ended up needing an x-ray of my lungs. I went to the hospital, having been through the procedure before because i have scoliosis and I’ve gotten my fair share of x-rays, i knew exactly where to go and prepared myself for the long wait. When i finally got into the room, the person who takes the x-ray asked me, as they always do, if there was any possibility that i could be pregnant. I hesitated. I decided to go ahead and say I didn’t know and she tested me. It came up positive. She tested again. It came up positive. The doctor was an angel. She consoled a disheveled me in the bathroom and told me personal antidotes about how much she loves her daughter, and that she loves her no matter anything. She convinced me to tell my mom. I could barely look at her without tears streaming down my face. I guess I would have had to tell her anyways, because I’m under eighteen. Even though my birthday was a mere month away. She hugged me and told me everything would be all right. We both knew what I had to do. When we got to the car my mom revealed that she also had an abortion around my age because she was raped. I already knew about the rape part. She described how mortified she was to tell her dad, but that she was glad she did. Her parents were so scared of being looked down upon, that they went a few towns over for the procedure. It felt good to know that someone else, my own mother in fact, has had to make the difficult decision to abort a child. We then drove to planned parenthood, luckily there was a facility in my city. The nurses were so kind and helped me keep myself together. We scheduled a date. I even had to miss pre-season for field hockey, thats how close it was to school starting. I love children. When I was growing up I never thought I’d have to think about abortion. I knew I made the right choice. I had drank, smoked weed, and taken meds for my bipolar disorder throughout the summer. Even if I had the child, it probably wouldn’t have been healthy. I know it may seem fucked up to say, but I needed to abort this child in order to fulfill my dreams. My abortion enabled me to go to a fantastic school which will help me get into college, and become successful later in my life. I am not ashamed of my decision, and no one ever should be.