I was 24 and just starting my first serious relationship. My boyfriend was the best thing that had ever happened to me in my personal life. I was shy and seemed to come off as angry or upset when in fact I was just nervous of social interaction. He saw through my apparent front and won me over with the attention that I was craving. It wasn’t long before the relationship turned sexual. I, never having such a consistent partner, had never been on birth control and relied on condoms.
One day the condom came loose and actually got stuck up near my cervix. Although this didn’t hurt me or get me pregnant, it did make my boyfriend turn to another birth control method. Since I wasn’t on birth control, he started to simply pull-out right before climax. I didn’t complain since I was planning to get a birth control prescription anyway I didn’t see the harm. As far as I knew, he was doing a great job of pulling out in time. I now know how wrong I was. I soon got pregnant with that very scared. I was THAT GIRL, the one who is unwed and pregnant. I told my boyfriend and he did an amazing job of helping me get through the miserable nausea and tiredness. We had discussed before that if I ever got pregnant I (we) would have an abortion. Despite this, my boyfriend said he would support me in whatever I chose but I knew that having a child at that point in my life would ruin it. Even though I had a full-time job, I was not financially secure and neither was he. We weren’t at the point of our relationship for permanent commitment and we didn’t want to be forced into commitment either. A baby would halt any career progress I had planned for myself and him and force me into a lifelong relationship that could turn toxic not just for us but for the child. I would have an abortion. Considering I live in one of the worst states for abortion rights, it went relatively smoothly. I had to go to two appointments: the first for an ultrasound to determine how many weeks I was along and the second for the abortion itself. I felt a little self-righteous at the first appointment. Laying there while the doctor took an ultrasound I knew he would make some kind of comment. I had read up on the laws of the state and discovered that during this ultrasound appointment the doctor was required by law to find a heartbeat and show you the image. Fortunately, I was too early along for a heartbeat and he just showed me the image and asked if I wanted a print-out which I denied. The abortion itself was almost painless. They was even a volunteer provided to hold my hand during the procedure which took only 5 minutes. I was shown into a recovery room where I had to wait for 20 minutes for the all clear before I could leave. I had never felt more light, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. All the sickness and nausea I had before, was magically gone and I was myself again. My boyfriend, who had waited for me, even commented about how much better I looked. I didn’t even feel any regret! The only guilt I felt was that I didn’t feel guilty at all! Now looking back almost a year later, I still stand by my decision. Sure I think back at what could have been. But the choice I was given saved me and allowed me to grow as a person. I am still happily involved with my boyfriend and I am now steadily using birth control pills. I don’t regret my decision but have instead realized my perseverance as a woman to not be broken down by society’s stigmas and expectations. I had an abortion and have no regrets.