I had an abortion about 2 weeks after I turned 20. I’d been on the pill since I was 16, but had forgotten to take it home around Spring Break and skipped 2 days. My boyfriend at the time didn’t wear a condom for a few sexual encounters, and even though we used the pull-out method, I became pregnant.

I felt off (crampy, sore boobs) and took 3 pregnancy tests the week I found out. The first 2 were negative, then on the third day it was positive. I was barely 4 weeks pregnant at the time. I knew I wouldn’t be with my boyfriend forever. We actually weren’t talking when I found out about the pregnancy because he got so drunk he stood me up at a Death Cab for Cutie concert (haha now, but then, not so much). I went to the campus health center for a blood test because I was in denial. It came back positive and the nurse sat me in a room to share the results and then placed a binder in front of me with my “options”. There were lists of mom help groups and adoption centers. There was nothing about abortion, and I felt intimidated to ask the nurse in front of me with her family photos of beautiful blonde children behind her. So I googled it and found a place 40 miles away. It was $430 for the “abortion pill”. My boyfriend was 30 minutes late to pick me up. I decided to look at the ultrasound, and there was barely anything there, being only 4-5 weeks. The bleeding I had after this was less than most of my periods. No cramping.

I’m married with 2 children now and sometimes I wonder what my life would’ve turned out to be if I hadn’t terminated my pregnancy. I wouldn’t have ended up with my husband. I would’ve moved home from school. Who knows what else. I know I would’ve loved that baby, but resented it too. I don’t think any choice we make in our life is 100% right or 100% wrong. I just know that I’m more okay with this decision than not. I think If I would’ve found out past 8 weeks, when you can’t take the pill any more and it has to be surgical, I would’ve had a more difficult time with it.