07.17.2013
Media

I have had two abortions and don’t regret either one. The first time was when I was 19.

I was working and going to school part time. I had unprotected sex one time in mid December with a guy I went to high school with. I didn’t think about it again until one day in late February. My breasts hurt with every step I took. I thought that it meant my period was a day away, except my breasts hurt much more than they ever had before. I realized I had skipped my period in late December and January and hadn’t yet had my period in February. My periods were normally very regular, every 27 days. The next morning I went to a clinic that offered free pregnancy tests. Almost immediately the test showed what I already knew. The next week I had a friend drive me to the abortion clinic. The staff was kind and professional. I was asleep and I remember nothing from the procedure until I woke up in a room with 4-6 other girls, each with a sanitary napkin between our legs. I had mild bleeding for about 4 days and I don’t remember any cramping.

The next time was eight years later when I was married. We had a rocky and abusive relationship. Sometimes he would shove me against a wall and then punch his fist through the wall inches from my head. Everything was always my fault and we ended up not agreeing on many subjects. One day I became nauseous after making his morning coffee. Later that evening I noticed how painful my breasts were. I knew my period was due the next day. I went to the store late that night and bought a test after he went to bed. My husband was thrilled when I told him and we got along pretty well for a few weeks. Then his usual self showed up and, among other things, our ideas of how we would raise the child differed greatly. He saw nothing wrong with using a belt or a whip to punish children. I knew the child would never be safe around him and I couldn’t stay with him any longer. Also my nausea and vomiting were constant. I wasn’t able to work. A friend helped me to the clinic where this time I was awake for the entire procedure. There was some mild discomfort when my cervix was given an injection and then the dilation rods were inserted. After that I felt nothing and again and my uterus was emptied. I again had mild bleeding for about 4 days after. Still no regrets.