I was 19 years old and it was my first pregnancy. I used birth control always except once. I wasn’t in love and I wasn’t ready to have a child.
I thought about it a lot on whether it was right or not. I felt bad but also felt that there was another path that I was to follow. My heart told me that it was the right thing to do even though I felt bad. My partner really didn’t voice an opinion, but I made sure that he was ok with it. I was away from home so I couldn’t talk to any one. I hoped that the life that I had started was so early that it didn’t even know that it had started. The procedure was painful but I pretended to be ok. Later that night I was home alone and the pain was so intense that I had to go to a friends house. I was in intense pain for 2 weeks bleeding non stop with cramps. The nurse gave me the shot if your blood doesn’t mix late so I think my body was killing me thinking it had foreign blood. I was home alone because my boyfriend worked. Several times I thought I was going to die because I had lost so much blood that I thought I would have a heart attack. I survived because I fought. I never forget about it and still feel a lot of guilt but I also have had a child and feel that this was one of the reasons I had one. I knew that there was another path that I was to follow. It hurts me when I see religious bumper stickers because everybody is a sinner and no body is perfect. We should not judge one another. Miscarriages are the same thing but your body just aborts it before your make the mental decision. Women have lots of miscarriages and who is to say that they should have stopped a along time ago. I love my child and would not give my child up for anything. I would not want another abortion but I would have my child again. Try to be careful with birth control so you don’t have to make such hard decisions. God is still with us.