I write because it is hard for me to believe that we are still fighting for the right to choose when and with whom to have a child.
I was 28 years old and in a relationship with an emotionally unstable man who was unable to hold a job longer than a week or two before being fired. When I discovered that I was pregnant, the reality of being tied to this man forever suddenly hit home. He did not want a child—ever—because he knew he would have a hard time providing for the child and he was worried that he would pass on his mental illness (for this I give him credit).
He went with me to get the abortion and was very supportive. But, I ended the relationship soon afterwards. I DID want to have children—but with someone who is stable and able to be a Dad. I spent some time in therapy to look at why I thought I deserved to have losers in my life. During that time, I met my current husband (and I checked his references!).
I sometimes think about the child that would have been. But I have no regrets, I know that I did the right thing for both of us.
I now have two wonderful children that I love very much ages 15 and 12. They have a stable home and a Dad that loves them dearly.