05.20.2013
Media

As many teenagers do, I had quite the rebellious phase in high school. I was having a lot of psychological problems that caused me to partake in “high risk behaviors” like risky sex. I had been having unprotected sex with a lot of guys since my freshman year in high school, but two months into my senior year, I realized that I had entirely missed my period. I took a test and found out that I was pregnant. I struggled with the decision that came with finding out I was pregnant – should I keep the baby, give it up for adoption, or have an abortion? Each time I came to what I thought was a decision, I’d change my mind and rethink the entire thing. I knew that the logical decision was to have an abortion, but I could have this baby. I had enough money to start off on my own. I could do this. But I ended up realizing that I wasn’t ready to have a child in the first place, let alone raise one. I had spent my entire life thinking I was an adult, but in reality, I needed to grow up and make a decision. I went to the clinic by myself and had an abortion. The guilt that came afterwards was horrifying. I knew that no choice was a good one for me, but I chose the one that enabled me to continue growing as a person and to one day provide my future children with the best life they can possibly have. It wasn’t my time.