I became pregnant at the age of 23. My partner and I had been together for 2.5 years. We were content in our relationship.
We had always discussed the possibility of me getting pregnant and what we would do in that situation and from day one we had decided that we would have an abortion. Both in college without jobs, we wanted to be settled, secure and able to provide for a child when the time came and we both knew that we would not be able to do that financially or mentally at any point in the near future.
I actually found out that I was pregnant at a really inopportune time. I was on vacation with my family whenever I began to feel a little odd. I could not stay awake and fell asleep on the beach each day that we were there. I ate an entire crockpot of beef stroganoff on my own. I knew something was up, but was in complete denial that I could be pregnant until my partner called me and asked if I had started my period because he noticed that it was many days after the date that I should have started. I said no, and that I would go to the store to bring peace to our minds. Much to my surprise, the pregnancy test was positive. I called my partner and explained to him the results, and to say the least… we were both extremely shocked.
However, we immediately discussed our options and I told him that I wanted to follow through with what I had told him I would do in this scenario before. He was supportive of that decision, and I never really asked him if he would have been supportive of my deciding to keep it, simply because that was not ever my intention at any point. It was my decision to have an abortion before, during, and after. I was just glad that he felt the same and was eager to help me in any way that he possibly could. Without his support the situation would have been much more difficult, and I wish so terribly bad that every woman could have the amount of support from their significant other that I did.
I did not tell my family or friends because I felt that it was not anything that I wanted to discuss with anyone else. I wasn’t ashamed, but I wasn’t very excited at the prospect of having to immediately converse about it. Although it was a very easy decision for me to make, It was still stressful in other ways and required a lot of deep thought on my end. I wasn’t ready to talk about it then, and I feel that it was a good decision that I waited.
The actual abortion process was much, much, much, much, much easier than I had anticipated. I opted to have a surgical abortion under sedation. I also opted to view the ultrasound and see the heartbeat. I believe that my body is so powerful and incredible and I was curious to see what my body had created. I was not sad to see the ultrasound, instead it helped to bring my peace with my experience. The doctor told me that I was approximately 6 weeks and 5 days along in my pregnancy. Almost immediately after sharing this bit of information, I was laid back and given my anesthesia. I do not remember the procedure, but I know that it only lasted for a few moments and was painless. After the surgery I was given a comfortable chair to sit in with a heating pad and blankets. I was given something to drink and crackers to nibble on. The women at the clinic were extremely kind and careful with me from the phone call making the appointment to the moment I was exiting through the back door afterwards. I cannot express my gratitude for that clinic. I received assistance for the payment by them and was also given help by my brother. I am so grateful for the support of my brother, and so grateful for the clinic’s ability to help with the payment (and help it’s other patients as well.. how incredible.) What an amazing opportunity for those of us who need help.
The day after my abortion I felt like a new person. I was happy with the outcome and felt no regret. I woke up feeling revitalized and as if I had returned to my old self. I’m so glad that I had a successful surgery and that I am in good health. I am also grateful that my partner was supportive and that we are still together. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to have an abortion and was not in a place in which I had to follow through with my pregnancy. I was not ready to raise a child in any way whatsoever. I hope to have children in the future. I will never look back on the day of my abortion with remorse, but only a sense of relief and gratefulness.