06.11.2015
Media

Anonymous

I am currently 18 years old and a college student with a part time job. I live on campus and have been with my boyfriend for almost a full year and all of my first year of college.

He is the most genuine and loving guy I’ve ever met and two years older than me. Him and I began having sex a month into the relationship and after 8 months of on and off birth control use and no condoms, I felt really sick. I was told by many doctors I would not (or the chances were not likely) of getting pregnant. I thought I was invincible. I am at this point two weeks late so I had told my best friends. We all went to get a pregnancy test and I took three… they all came out positive… I cried and felt nauseous and started feeling like my life was over. I’m a smart girl on a medical school path with a bright future. I wasn’t ready to have a child. So I got home and called my boyfriend. He was extremely supportive and told me it was my choice, although he felt like we weren’t ready. He also told me he would stick by me through the whole thing because he truly loves me. I decided I wanted an abortion and his response made me feel better, “on a positive note, at least we know we’ll be able to have a kid when we’re ready some day.” Lastly, he offered to come to every appointment and pay as much as 800 dollars for the procedure (we weren’t all that sure how much it would cost). Next, I had to tell my mom… She came home and walked into my room and I immediately said, “I’m pregnant”. She was so in shock she didn’t even know what to say. I told her I wanted an abortion and she cried a little but was ultimately really supportive. I chose not to tell my father, other good friends or siblings because I did not want it to be made a big deal. I didn’t want to see this thing growing in me as mine. A baby. I wanted to see it as a virus I was going to the doctors to fix. I have a scheduled appointment for an abortion on Thursday. Well, an ultrasound first. I don’t want to know any information. I know a lot of this may sound harsh to anyone reading but it was the right thing to do. I can barely take care of myself let alone a baby. My boyfriend and I are in college and plan to go to grad school, we aren’t ready. I am not financially stable and I want to raise a child in a world where they are able to have basic necessities and do fun things. If I were to raise it in these conditions, it wouldn’t have its full potential and giving it up for adoption isn’t an option because I would have to miss school and I would lose scholarship money. I have my life planned and this wasn’t what I had in mind. Although I have not done it yet, I do not regret my decision. It would be selfish to bring a child into this situation. Not to say in the future I wont think, “what if?” But I hope that when I’m ready, I can have a healthy baby and take care of it the right way. Lastly, I’m terrified of the pain of this procedure but I know it’s something I want. I hope this helped anyone struggling with their decision. I love you all, stay strong.