Not long after I was divorced, a friend introduced me to a man, also recently divorced, and we became lovers. I was very vulnerable at the time. I got pregnant by him because we had unprotected sex.
My longing for a family was so great because of my broken marriage. But after I got pregnant, this lover did not step up in any way, and it was becoming clear that he was unstable, so I chose to have an abortion. I was already supporting my 4 year old daughter on my teacher’s salary, with child support of only $383 a month from my ex-husband, and I did not think I could afford a second child on my own, much less have the time and energy to care for a baby while working and caring for a 4 year old. I felt my living daughter would pay the price, and I could not do that to her, so I chose an abortion. I desperately wanted a second child, but I could not see how I could possibly take care of two children on my own and hold down my teaching job at the same time. I didn’t think I would have either time or money. The father of my unborn baby checked out completely, and I later learned that I was the second woman he had done this to. I am still sad that about the child I gave up, a child I have always felt was supposed to be mine, but I know I made the right choice for my daughter and do not regret my decision.