I was 20 years old and in a terribly dysfunctional relationship. Mentally and emotionally abusive, as well as the constant infidelities.
I had never ever been even one day late on my period, so I went and got a pregnancy test. I got home, and the second I took it, it was positive. I was stunned for a few seconds. When I got out of the bathroom my sister was sitting on the computer. She asked me if I was okay and I just blurted it out, “I’m pregnant…” Without hesitation she looked at me and said “you cannot have that baby.” Her words cut straight through me, I thought at least my sister and best friend would be supportive of me. We had friends that had gotten pregnant younger than me and she had always been there. Her words haunted me. When I told my boyfriend he seemed happy and I thought, maybe this was going to be okay. He told his mother separately from me. She was a single mother, as her and my boyfriends father had him young and split up. She called me over to talk just the two of us and said “you cannot have this baby, you will be stuck… look at my life.” I was stunned for the second time, I couldn’t believe his own mother would say this to me. I knew she was right and I think that is what killed me the most. I was 20, in nursing school, worked a part time job at a restaurant, and he was on drugs, going nowhere fast. I decided to have an abortion. I cried the entire time. I felt abandoned and alone. The physical and emotional pain I endured was unbearable. I went through a massive depression and started binge drinking. My boyfriend and I split. There was no complication of having to stay because of a baby. Or being alone with a child I had no way to take care of. However, having an abortion was the hardest thing I have ever endured in my entire life, but I do not regret my decision. I am happy that I have a sister who loves me enough to make me realize what I am worth. Today I am a successful nurse, with a loving fiance, in graduate school. I am starting my life the way it was intended to be and on my own terms.