Road Block
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Definition
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Example(s)
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Situation
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Adult Response
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| VERBAL: |
| 1. Judging |
Making a judgment |
1) You should … and 2) You ought to … |
Mom, I’m not sure what to do about my class schedule this year. It’s really tough with all the extras I’ve got to do. |
You should take every math and science course offered. You ought to see how important that is. |
| 2. Rejecting |
Giving no support |
It’s your problem, not mine. |
Dad, that boy just took my truck. |
It’s your problem. You solve it. |
| 3. Blaming, Criticizing |
Placing fault on the other person |
It’s your fault. |
Mom, the jar of glue just fell over on the floor. |
Look what you did! The carpet is ruined! It’s all your fault! |
| 4. Labeling |
Calling negative names or words that are negative |
Only a dummy would do it that way. |
Your 8-year-old got dressed for school—orange and blue shirt, green and yellow striped pants, red socks, sandals, and a baseball hat. |
Only a clown would dress like that for school! |
| 5. Transferring |
Not listening and jumping in with one’s own problems |
Let me tell what happened to me. |
Dad, it’s not my fault my math teacher hates me. |
Let me tell you about my boss. You think you’ve got trouble! |
| 6. Ordering |
Giving solutions with no choices |
You must do this now. |
I think I’ll go to the movies tonight Mom. |
You will not. You’re going to stay home and study. You’re going to bring your grades up. |
| 7. Threatening, Bribing |
Using threats or bribes to try to make someone do something |
1) If you don’t do what I want … and 2) If you do what I want, I do this for you. |
But Dad, it’s the last night for “Star Wars,” and I haven’t seen it. |
If you don’t study, there will be no car this weekend. |
| 8. Waffling |
Not being clear and consistent in setting limits |
1) Well, maybe …, 2) We’ll see …, and 3) I’ll think about it … |
Mom, I really need to know if I can go to the concert on Saturday night. |
We’ll see—I’ll think about it. |
| 9. Nagging |
Persistently repeating orders or requests |
1) I’ve told you a thousand times … and 2) How many times do I have to ask you to … |
I’ll pick up the puzzle later Dad. |
I’m not going to tell you again. I’ve told you ten times to pick it up. Now! |
| NONVERBAL: |
| 10. Acting |
Using body language that sends negative messages or that rebuffs; being physically abusive |
1) Crossing arms, 2) Not looking at speaker, 3) Walking away, 4) Tapping feet, 5) Shaking finger in face, 6) Hitting, and 7) Kicking. |
Your child comes home from school, slams the door shut, drops his/her clothes on the floor, kicks the cabinet, and turns on the TV. |
You frown, cross your arms, tap your foot, and stand in front of your child. |
