Date number three, with a guy who seems like a perfect gentleman. He was sweet, considerate, and actually, almost boring. We went back to his place to hang out, and one glass of wine turned into three, which prevented me from being able to drive home. So we get frisky, make out in his room…and one thing leads to another. I don’t know why I didn’t immediately tell him to get a condom as soon as he began pulling down my panties, it was just one of those moments that flicks over and over and you just don’t understand it. He finishes. He didn’t pull out. He immediately falls asleep. I’m wide awake, still, and having just realized what just actually happened, I went and sat in the bathroom, hoping to undo it. A couple weeks went by. Period is late. I already know. I remember buying the pregnancy test at the Walgreens. So out of my element. Stick #1: Positive. I’m in denial. “Maybe I’m reading it wrong…”. I wasn’t. Stick #2: Positive. Bullet biting time. I called my dad. I didn’t know what else to do. Keeping it wasn’t even an option that crossed my mind. I remember getting the official test at the Doctor’s office, feeling sick and lonely and stupid. I made my termination appointment for the following week. I texted the guy, told him I was pregnant, and he was very attentive, said he would support any choice I made. But when I told him I was going to Planned Parenthood that weekend, I never heard another thing from him. I was only a few weeks along, so I was able to take the pill, which some women say is “lucky”, but I still remember the protesters outside of the office, with their grotesque signage and guilt trips. I still remember the women in the waiting room with me, all with the same look of fear and defeat. You never forget that day, when something inside you, something that is half of YOU, feels like an alien, and you just purge it away. This was my only experience with having an abortion. I don’t regret my decision, but I do regret not having the courage to prevent myself from being in that situation to begin with.