I have been married nearly 5 years and with my husband for nearly 10. I am a cancer survivor and I have neurofibromitosis, a genetic condition that makes me predisposed to have tumors form on my nerves.
Shortly after my husband and I met, I had surgery on my cervix, and was told by my gynecologist and several other doctors that I would have difficulty getting pregnant, and if I did get pregnant, I would have trouble carrying a child to term. He and I agreed then (when I was only 19) that we would live a childless life together. I am so afraid of passing on my genetic condition or, even worse, not being able to be there for my family because I am ill. My husbands’ mother died when he was a child from a blood clot due to the hormones in her birth control, and since we met I have not taken hormonal birth control. We would, and still do, always use condoms.
Shortly before we married, my husband and I discovered that we were often having sex at night while asleep. I didn’t notice it until I woke up one night IN THE MIDDLE of intercourse with him. It was scary and exciting all at the same time, but I realized there was a HUGE flaw in our method of using condoms for birth control. However, having been told I would have fertility issues, and knowing we had missed using protection a few times in the past, I didn’t think much of it. Besides, the occasional nightly surprise encounters were helping our sex life, which had been hurting up until that point. Finding out I was pregnant was a huge shock. I had no idea I was pregnant because I couldn’t even pinpoint when it could have happened…it was likely we were both asleep during the encounter. Fortunately, I am very in tune with my body and was only 5 weeks along when I found out.
To top it all off, during the time I didn’t know I was pregnant, I had been drinking heavily. I mean very heavily. I hate to admit it to myself, but it is the truth. I would never have been able to live with myself if I kept the baby and he/she was negatively affected by my alcohol consumption.
My husband saw how upset and scared I was, and he was there for me through a very hard decision. We have a wonderful relationship and are financially stable, but I have very realistic expectations when it comes to my health and what my body can handle. My OB/GYN agreed that the pregnancy would be highly difficult for me, and that she would support my decision either way. As hard a decision as it was, I decided to end the pregnancy.