The hardest part about having an abortion has been allowing myself to mourn the loss of a potential child. I started to share my whole story, but the part that I want to shout from the rooftops is that I can mourn a loss and know I made the right decision at the same time. I keep trying to reach out to mental health professionals because I know I am dealing with depression unlike depression I have experienced before (situational depression is what I’ve been told), but nobody knows how to deal with the weepy, numb woman who doesn’t regret her abortion but mourns it every day. I don’t know how to deal with it either. It’s been over a year and my partner is frustrated that we don’t have sex and that I’m emotionally distant but I don’t know what to do. I want to heal from this but the only materials I can find want to make me feel guilty and turn to God. That is not my answer. I have spoken in front of my state legislature to protect and expand access to abortions. I will fight every day of my life for reproductive justice because I know I made the right choice for myself, my partner, and the family we hope to someday have (when we are ready).