2009 was a great year- I was on my way to pursuing a doctoral degree in Psychology, had fallen in love with a wonderful man, and was living a happy healthy life. At 23, I was in my first adult relationship and then it happened- I found out that I was pregnant. Millions of thoughts clouded my mind but one thought was clear for me. I knew that I was not ready to become a mother and that an abortion was the best choice for me. After making this decision for myself, I shared it with my boyfriend and my mother. My mother supported my decision but my boyfriend did not. He insisted that we could raise the child and I would still be able to go to school. I wanted to believe him but I knew it was not true. I knew that the moment the child arrived I would want to pour every ounce of love and energy into our little one and the idea of pursuing a doctorate would soon become a distant memory. The decision was made and the challenge was helping my partner understand why this was the best decision for us both.
The night before the procedure, I played a song for our unborn child and prayed for him/her. I haven’t listened to that song since. I had my abortion mid-March 2009. I cried and grieved the loss of a soul, a spirit.
My partner and I got engaged the following year and will have our 1 year marriage anniversary in August. I will graduate from my program in May of next year and am very excited about becoming a licensed psychologist. My husband and I are in the process of planning for our first child. We are excited and both feel that we are ready to become parents.
Although an abortion is not something that I ever anticipated I would have in my lifetime, it was something that happened and I’m okay with it. I don’t regret my decision and am grateful that in my most confused and scared state, one thing was very clear to me. I did not have to have a child when I was not ready. I could have a procedure in a clean and empathic environment where I knew I would be safe and well taken care of. In my most vulnerable state, I was empowered by the fact that I had a choice. This choice is crucial and must be protected.