I want to tell my story of abortion, because I am unapologetic about it. I am also unapologetically polyamorous and married to my primary partner.
In 2015, I went to Planned Parenthood to get routine STI testing, as I had recently started seeing a new partner. When I got there, the nurse asked if I wanted a pregnancy test, and I was planning to decline, but then thought, why not? Better safe than sorry. I did not expect it to be positive. When she told me that the pregnancy test was positive, I just cried immediately- it was my visceral reaction to this news.
I knew right away the exact moment when I’d gotten pregnant. It was with my new partner. We had used a condom. I had taken the morning-after pill just to be sure, because I knew that I was close to ovulating in my cycle. I was surprised because I thought my measures would have helped prevent pregnancy.
The nurse was very kind. She helped me call over to the other Planned Parenthood that gave abortions. I was just over 6 weeks, and I scheduled a surgical abortion for the very next day after work.
I told my husband right away. My husband was supportive, but couldn’t come to the clinic with me. We lived in the city, so I was able to walk there. One my way to the clinic the very next day, I called my new partner and told him that I was pregnant and that I was on my way to get an abortion. He was also very supportive.
The abortion was a smooth process. They did an ultrasound, and asked if I wanted to see it (required by law in that state). I said no. When I was called back for the procedure, there was a doctor and advocate present, both amazing women. I felt safe. I listened to the Pixies on my iPod and the advocate held my hand. I was not allowed to take the pain meds since I was alone. There was not a lot of pain-it mostly felt like bad cramping for about 30 seconds. Then it was over. I bled for a few days like a heavy period.
I count myself as very lucky for so many reasons, but I wish everyone had this kind of abortion experience. I was able to work from home the next day because my job was flexible, and I worked for a progressive non-profit. Both of my partners were supportive. I lived in Massachusetts, a state that has fairly liberal policies around abortion access. My health insurance covered the procedure 100%. The doctors, nurses, and advocates were incredible and kind.
I don’t think anti-abortion folks realize that life is dynamic and there are myriad factors that play into peoples’ decisions to get abortions. I was 27 and married, with supportive friends and partners. My husband was dealing with some serious health issues. I was broke. I was at the beginning of my career. I still plan to have a child someday. And I was decisive about getting an abortion.