Our lives were in different places, our relationship was over, and I realized I was pregnant. He had moved on, I had not. I was still head over heels for him, and he had already begun seeing another woman. I waited a few weeks before finally telling him the truth, that I was pregnant. I spent countless nights on the phone crying with him telling him I was scared and alone, and he kept saying everything would be fine after I had the abortion. At first I thought an abortion was the best decision, but as a week passed by, I started to become attached to what was growing inside me. I would lie awake at night thinking about how wonderful and precious a baby would be. When I told him I was reconsidering having the procedure, and that I wanted to have the baby, he firmly said he didn’t want a baby and became angry. He stated I had no choice, that I had to have an abortion, and that he would never support me. He threw in my face his new relationship, and said he would never be with me or be involved with this baby, or anything that was involved in my life.
It was a harsh and unwelcome response. I asked him to reconsider, he would not. I was feeling hurt and betrayed. As the 7th week of my pregnancy approached his pressuring and coercion continued. His words kept playing in my head, that I would be a single mother for the rest of my life with a child and no father, that no man would be with me when I already had a baby, that my job prospects would be limited, etc. After weeks of this pressuring, I finally agreed to have the abortion, but not because I wanted to, but because I was scared, alone, and felt pressured into it.
I have submitted this story to shed light on something that we all know to be true but sometimes others forget: a woman’s right to carry her pregnancy to term or have an abortion is the sole right of that woman, something she shouldn’t be pressured about. Every woman should have a choice. I felt very pressured and backed into a corner. I felt like I had no choice, and that wasn’t a good feeling, especially from someone I had such strong feelings for, and someone who I trusted.
This was over two months ago, and I still have lingering feelings of remorse, grief, and regret because this decision wasn’t mine. I wish I could say it has gotten easier since, but it hasn’t…