I had missed my period and didn’t think much of it since sometimes I would get it about a day or two late but I waited a week and didn’t get it so me and boyfriend thought i might’ve gotten pregnant. I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive.
The first thing I did was cry and I felt scared and nervous. My boyfriend felt the same. My immediate decision was to have an abortion because my mom would be very upset. More upset because nobody knows that I am not a virgin anymore. I was terrified and felt alone, although, my boyfriend was by my side. I didn’t know what to do or how to afford an abortion plus me being underage was the worst part. I ended up finding a way through the “janes due process” which helps teenage girls 18 and under have the right to an abortion without parental consent, I had my abortion about 3 weeks ago. I was 8 weeks and 5 days when I got my abortion. I felt alone, scared, depressed, nervous, and angry. I felt mad at the fact that I got pregnant because I never used protection. I was angry at myself because I could’ve avoided this and I wasn’t smart about it. I have this anger towards myself for doing this.
Nobody knows I got pregnant or that I had an abortion except my boyfriend. I feel alone and still very sad that I had to go through this. The first time I went to the clinic I was scared and I cried because It all felt wrong. Seeing and hearing everything that I was going to have to go through terrifies me. I wish I had support from my mom or any adult. My boyfriend was supportive but he actually didn’t want for me to have an abortion.
It was my decision and it hurts me so much still thinking that I killed my baby, my baby had a heartbeat and had some of its figures. I felt alone but I knew it was best for me and my boyfriend. I am taking care of myself even more now and everything that I had to go through just to have that abortion stressed me out and even after the abortion I was still stressed and hurt and felt alone.
This is my first time speaking out about my story to anyone and it feels better letting everything out. I don’t feel regret because I am only a senior in high school about 6 months away from graduating and going to college. My future and my boyfriend’s future are so important to me that I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I didn’t want to be a teenage mom, I knew I still had so much more to live for and a baby is a blessing but it was just a choice I had to make. I hope I slowly start forgiving myself and start feeling better about myself but everything happens for a reason.