I was 23 and working for my stepdad. He ran a car wash. It was a hot and dirty “man job”, but I was surprisingly paid well and it was low stress. I had intentions of getting my “big girl” job soon, but I was enjoying being a girl in her lower 20s and not having much responsibility. I had just escaped from a long term abusive relationship, I wanted to have some fun and keep my laid back job for a little longer.
Then I met a guy. Kyle. We had been long time Facebook friends. I ran into him while I was out with friends and recognized him. We hit it off, and he invited me to his house the next week. He cooked me meatloaf and we watched a movie. Little did we know that just 3 months later, we would be faced with something life altering.
I remember being only days late on my period, but decided to take a test anyways for my own peace of mind. When I saw those 2 pink lines pop up, I was numb. I collected myself and walked back to the bedroom where my boyfriend was waiting. I told him that it was positive, and then we sat in silence. He finally spoke up and asked what we were going to do, and I said I couldn’t make any decisions yet. I needed some time to process it.
After a few days I knew what I needed to do. I needed an abortion. I had no health insurance. Even with our pay combined we would struggle to support a kid. I couldn’t work at the wash once I was super pregnant. On top of that, I suddenly felt like I barely knew this guy. We had only been together for 3 months.
I went to his house and told him what I wanted to do, and he agreed that he was 100% not ready for kid. We also decided that we needed to split up. This was too big of a thing to deal with this early into a relationship, and we both needed away from each other for a bit.
He asked if I wanted him to come with me to my appointment, and I said no. I would feel better without the added awkwardness. He paid for half, and met my dad to give him the money since I didn’t want to see him at the time.
The staff was compassionate and wonderful. I was there for several hours, but the procedure was quick. The nurse held my hand and chatted with me to keep my mind off of things. I knew that this is what I needed to do, and I felt relieved once it was over. I did have a moment a couple of days later where I cried, and I spent a few days feeling sad. I surrounded myself with friends and then began to heal and was able to start truly believing that I made the right decision.
A couple of months later it just seemed like a bad dream. I would think about it some, but it didn’t weigh heavily on my mind anymore. I went out with friends, and I saw him. Kyle was there. At the same place I met him the first time. I felt okay speaking to him now. It didn’t take long, but feelings and emotions came rushing back.
Kyle and I have been together for almost 5 years now and got married in August. We have careers. We have a home. And we have a one year old son. 5 years ago it wasn’t time for us to bring a child in. We never would have been able to create the life and loving home that we can now provide to our son back then.
When we found out I was pregnant the second time, even though it was again the result of a broken condom, the feeling was excitement. We were excited to be parents to a child that we can provide a good life for. Having an abortion because you aren’t equipped to be a parent is a perfectly acceptable reason to do so, and you can still have a happy and healthy family when you are ready later. I love my family, and I don’t regret my decision.