03.04.2013
Media

Anonymous

I was 17 and accepted to the University of Michigan. I was the first one in my family to go to college. That summer I worked and spent time with my boyfriend who was a year ahead of me and was home from Ann Arbor for the summer. Yeah we had sex, and condoms were not fool proof. When I was late in July I knew and I was pregnant. This was 1978 so things were legal. I really had no discussion with my boyfriend. I was like “the test came back and this is what we are doing.” I didn’t tell my mother. I couldn’t have faced it, there would have been no talk of abortion from my mom. I didn’t give my boyfriend a choice, but his family would have flipped too. I was still underage, so the woman at the clinic reminded me to say I was ’18’. It was hard to come up with the cash. I had to use my savings from my job. I felt ashamed about the whole thing, but relieved my family didn’t know. It turned out the the boyfriend left me that fall, so freshman year I was figuring out a lot of things on my own. My mom died the following year, so I missed my only change to give her a grandchild. It was a pretty bad time in my life, but I have always been clear that it was the best choice I could have made at the time. I wouldn’t have been able to go to school and he was outta there pretty fast so it would have just been me. I have a girl now with my husband and that doesn’t replace anything but it helps fill the hole in my heart. She’s 14 now. I think this is one story about her mom she won’t be hearing. In 1978, everything was pretty simple. If I had to be forced to look at pictures and ultrasounds and be lectured, it would have been harder on me, but I was determined to go to college and I don’t think the state could have discouraged me. My family would have been more involved though, since I was only 17.