I would like to start off by sharing how I got pregnant as it makes me better about what I’ve done. I was going into see my nurse practitioner about an IUD when I found out I was 11 weeks pregnant. I was hysterical as I had already taken a pregnancy test (negative) four weeks prior, on the Nuva Ring and my boyfriend always uses the “pull out method.” Therefore, you can imagine our surprise.

My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and are in a healthy committed relationship. However, we are not financially stable enough and discussed a 3 to 5 year plan for children… This was not part of the plan and to add to that, I had been drinking alcohol along the way.

We went through the informed consent class the day we found out as we knew we didn’t have much time. I have always been a pro choice advocate. However, I never thought I would have to endure it myself especially at 11 weeks. I struggled and am steal struggling with knowing I terminated a fetus growing in my body that I was starting to bond to. We knew we probably could make it work financially/ emotionally and often times fetuses go unaffected by alcohol. The fact that there was no way knowing put us over the edge. I think about my baby all the time and wish I could have brought it into this world under better circumstances. It is something I will think about for the rest of my life.

We terminated yesterday 11/7/2015. I am 27 years old. I am not going to sugarcoat it, it was not a pleasant experience but I do feel relief. What I would like to remind all pro choice advocates out there, is no woman actually wants to terminate her own baby. It is a traumatizing experience both physically and mentally. In my mind, it is the harder of the two decisions. We made the choice knowing that we wanted to protect the baby’s health and bring it in to a positive, desired environment.

We made the decision best for us.