I had an abortion when I was 18. The man who would later become my husband
and had gotten me pregnant. We were young and not always as careful as we should have been. He at the time was just starting to heal after dealing with a year of severe depression, psychosis, and a failed attempt at suicide.
He had grown up very poor watching his parents constantly struggle to financially support their family. His parents had him when they were young and his mother because of health issues could only sometimes work. So his father could never get a better job than the one he had at the grocery store. I’ve always had a hard time making small decisions but I just instinctively known the right choice when it comes to big ones. I knew I was in love with my husband before we even dated, I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and a teacher someday. The second I found out that I was pregnant I knew that I wanted an abortion. The more I thought about it the more I knew that my gut was right. For some people handling school and an infant is doable but for someone who is an intelligent but slow learner I’ve always had to put much more effort into my school work than most people. I also knew that an emotionally unstable, recently suicidal teen would make for a terrible father. I knew I wanted to be a mother someday but I knew I’d be a terrible mother at the time. Some people are great young parents but I knew that we wouldn’t be. My husband had to do some soul searching to come to the same conclusion. So I had an abortion at Planned Parenthood. At the time I had the abortion I was one trimester along and I had just started to have morning sickness. It didn’t hurt at all and I only felt a slight amount of discomfort while they had the instruments inside of me. Most people experience bad cramping after the produce I was told but I didn’t. We went to see Batman Begins in the movie theater just after the procedure. I feel no remorse for killing a fetus. I personally believe that fetuses are alive but in my opinion they are less alive than the ants, spiders, and flies I kill when they invade my personal space. A fetus is less alive than the animals we kill for sustenance or for other reasons. A fetus can’t even support itself without the mother’s womb. I’m an omnivore and I’m as ashamed of eating animals as I am of my abortion – which is not at all. I didn’t want to risk my own health to give birth to a child that I would not have been able to properly support. I also knew that I could not handle giving up a baby for adoption after carrying it in the womb for 9 months and then going through the pain and risk to birth it. An abortion was hands down the best choice for me and I will never regret my decision.