It was seven years ago, I was 25. I still have the questionnaire from the doctors visit. One question asked “Do you want to be pregnant? Yes/No.” I put an X through both.
A friend of mine had a Marine buddy in town and wanted to go out and have a good time. He was cute and charming with beautiful blue eyes. They stayed the night. The first time he used a condom. I was a heavy sleeper and woke up later in the night to us having unprotected sex. I woke up early that morning and somehow knew I was pregnant. I never liked bacon and went to the store to pick some up before they were even awake. The next day I took the plan B pill. Two days later he left. One week after that I confirmed I was pregnant. The next day my buddy told me his friends referred to me as Snagletooth. Then the Marine posted on Facebook that he had gotten a girl (not me) pregnant. I never expected anything from him but I was devastated. I was single and alone. I weighed my options. I couldn’t afford to give this child a decent life. I couldn’t move in with my parents because they were hoarders and that was no place to raise a child. I knew that I could never emotionally bare the pain of giving my child up for adoption and not be a part of it’s life. Everyday I wanted to throw myself down a flight of stairs. I knew I would be looked at with shame. My parents have always been very vocally pro-life. The only person I confided in was my sister who assured me no matter what my decision was she would be there to help & support me. Thank God she was because I may not be here today if she hadn’t. If I knew then what I know today I would not have made that decision. I still struggle with whether I should tell my parents. My dad still posts anti-abortion things on Facebook and it always brings me to tears. I want to tell my parents, not for forgiveness, but so that they may understand that condemnation without offering support or soloutions only creates fear of judgement. Sometimes a little bit of support and compassion is way more powerful in saving a life or two.