I was 16 years old and it was 1975 (5 years after Roe V Wade) and I was dating a 19 year old who had been sexually active. We started dating in 1974 and I had been able to avoid having sex. When he would ask I would just say no and that was the end of the story. I never had sex before and did not really want to have sex.
One day my boyfriend asked to have sex, and again I said “No”. This day was different he did not just stop at no.
He said, “If you really loved me you would do this and I’m tired of waiting! and If you don’t want to do this, I know some girls that will and maybe it was time I moved on!” I cried for a hour how could he do this to me! I could not believe he was willing to breakup with me over this. I finally, just gave in! I told him he had to use a condom, I just laid there on my back not moving, wishing he would just get it over with. When he was done he could not find the condom anywhere…well I found it and it was inside of me. I was too scared to have sex again. Two weeks later I missed my period. We waited till we could do a pregnancy test and sure enough I was pregnant from the first time I ever had sex.
He wanted to marry me and have a baby. I grew up in an area in which most people felt that if you were pregnant and a teen you were bullied and called a slut or whore. In fact, there was a girl in my school at this time that was pregnant and all of my friends made fun of her. I had dreams and aspirations and they did not include being a teenage mother. I wanted to go to college and be something! I did not even babysit because I disliked children and I was starting to dislike my boyfriend for forcing me into making the decisions I was now having to make.
I decided my only option was to have an abortion. I did not want my parents to know because they were not pro-choice and I did not want to disappoint them or be forced to have a baby. Till this day they do not know and I am in my 50s.
I scheduled the abortion, my boyfriend went with me and paid. I was able to go to a clean supportive center. I hear the horror stories of how some women were/are treated and it makes me sick. I never have regretted my decision. Not one day, and I am now a mother.
I feel what I did was the most compassionate thing I could have done at the time for my child. I do not have a problem saying “child” or the concept that I ended a life. I think much more damage is done bringing unwanted, unloved children into this world.
So you might be wondering what happened to the boyfriend. I broke up with him and I vowed no one would ever put me in a situation in which I felt forced to have sex or do something I did not want to do. I also went on to work at an abortion clinic and became politically active. I wanted to make sure other women would have access to safe legal abortions. What is happening in this country is disgusting, women are losing their choices and are having their lives dictated to them. Just like I did when I was a 16 year old that just wanted to say NO!