My idea of a fairytale then is much different from the fairytale life I dream of now…
I(21)thought I had found my prince(26) charming. We met online and within a couple of weeks I was on a plane from LA to NY, and my new bf was driving from Boston to meet me at our romantic hotel room that I prepaid on my credit card…That weekend was so magical. Little did I know I was running around the city, falling in love with a lie.
I worked from my computer, so it allowed me to then pack up and spend my 22nd birthday and thanksgiving with his family in Long Island. Further and further I fell deeper in love. The family loved me. I loved them, and I instantly became best friends with his sister.
Before I headed back to LA, my bf and his family invited me on their annual family vacation to cancun. Of course I said I would love to. Weeks later I’m in cancun…were falling deeper in love. Life is perfect. So I thought. His father mentioned before I had left “thank you for being a part of our family. You’re presence has made this vacation so much better”
Again back in LA and my bf messages me the most beautiful things like, “soon we will be together forever”, “you’re everything I’ve been waiting for”, “you’re my princess”, “there’s nothing more I want in life.”
Now, packing again to stay in Boston with him for a month. The most beautiful month this far. Got him a GoPro for his birthday, took him to a steak house. He took me to some of the most beautiful and ritzy places in the city. I was speechless.
The day I had to leave we held eachother holding back tears and he said “you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
2 weeks later.. 5 weeks pregnant. (I was on the pill.)
I called him to break the news crying my eyes out and the first thing he says is “well, you don’t have a choice we have to get an abortion!”
I was so in love with him.. So blind that I didn’t take the time to really think about things but I made the apt and followed through. Three days up to the abortion. I didn’t hear from him and the day after he broke up with me. He didn’t send me a dollar and he never asked me how I was doing. I found myself in the deepest depression. My mom would come home and find me wasted for two weeks.
As I started to try and understand everything at happened, I truly realized the abortion was the best decision I made. I couldn’t have had a baby alone or with a man that threw me to the wolves the second things weren’t “perfect”. I’ve learned so much from this experience. And most lessons come at a cost.
No abortions aren’t easy. And I don’t think you forget about them. But you do forgive yourself. You have to forgive yourself. Just always hold on to the lesson that the abortion taught you.
I hope my story has helped.
You’re beautiful. Inside and out.