The condom broke. I felt it and I knew. The next week, I went to the clinic at college and did a stick pregnancy test. It came back positive. I was 20 and not ready to be pregnant, but the condom had broken.

I had the procedure and dreamt about my “baby” for years, whenever I could sleep. As an unloved child, I felt a connection with my loved child who I had lost. In my dreams, I could not see her face and her back was always towards me.

It was the worst, most responsible decision I have ever made. I still love my girl and know that she knows this.

In case you are wondering, I never found out the sex of my child, I just know she was a girl.