02.24.2015
Media

At age 35, while in an abusive marriage with two kids, I became pregnant unexpectedly. There had been a conflict in the marriage, and to prove my commitment, I allowed him to have unprotected sex with me.

We were already struggling financially, and his behavior had gotten more and more abusive and controlling. I knew that if I went through with the pregnancy, that it would end with me committing suicide, leaving 3 children without a parent. Although I was raised in an evangelical home and had been raised to believe abortion was wrong (even gave speeches about it!), it wasn’t even a question as to what I needed to do. My friend accompanied me, and we sat with other couples who were mostly older and married. After it was done, I felt complete & utter relief. NEVER, ever have I felt bad about it, not for one second in the 10 years since. I left him 5 years ago, and the kids and I are so much better. I’m glad that abortion was available, because even though my life wasn’t physically at risk because of the pregnancy, I KNOW I would not be here today if I’d had to go through with the pregnancy. My body and spirit could not take what was happening, it was too much to bear. An additional child would have rendered me more of a prisoner, for longer, and I was already breaking then. It also would have made leaving impossible because of the high cost of living in my state. The only person who knows if she can bear it is the woman, and no one should have to prove anything to anyone else. The laws they are trying to pass make it more difficult for people in abusive situations, and it is WRONG. My kids and I now have a bright future to look forward to, so I am very grateful that abortion was easily accessible.