02.24.2015
Media

I am currently in my late thirties, single and live in Austin, Texas. My first abortion was when I was 22, still in school, and thought I had law school ahead of me.

I was dumb and left town without refilling my BC pill, and thought there was no way my body could respond with an egg after being on the pill for like 5 years.

I knew within 2 seconds of finding out I was pregnant what my decision was. Fortunately, I was in school in CA. I had medical insurance, I encountered zero static, protesters or any interference. My Ob/Gyn was mad at me that I made such a dumb mistake. I felt nothing but relief after. I thank the universe every day that there is nothing tying me to the guy who would have been that child’s father. One of us would be dead right now (him) and one of us would be in jail (me).

My second abortion was maybe five years ago. One night stand, cute guy, many drinks. We used a condom, but very not well. I went to the PP on Ben White. I had to call in a day in advance and they played the shaming script that TX made them play over the phone. I had the medication abortion. I had to take the first pill at the clinic. The rest was at home. Not a pleasant experience, but I just didn’t want to be pregnant. Again, all I feel is relief and gratitude that I had a choice to make. During this procedure, the clinic told me that they found out I had a deformed uterus, and any pregnancies would be very high risk for my health.

I am a worst-case scenario for most birth control options on the market. Hormonal birth control makes me very sick; I have tried several different combinations of pills, depo shots, and the Implanon. The results were everything from mood swings, rapid weight gain, migraines and a period that lasted seven months. Because of my uterine deformation all IUDs are out of the question. I have had a condom failure.

This past summer I had my tubes tied (endoscopic bilateral tubal ligation). Part of that choice is very much in response to the political climate here in Texas. Again, I am grateful to have the privilege to exercise control over my reproduction. But am deeply angry that I have to mutilate my body in order to regain ownership of my reproductive organs.

That is why the fight for reproductive choice is so important for me. Every person should have the same choices and lack of obstacles I have had just because I am a middle-class, white, “educated” first-world woman.

Every abortion is different, just like every woman is different. Whether a woman has zero abortions or a dozen, it is her body, her choice. End of discussion. Anything less is not honoring the value of that woman as her own full moral agent.

I have zero regrets about either of my abortions. Neither has caused me any sort of long-term harm or psychological damage. My only regret is that I didn’t fight like hell against the doctors that told me I was too young at twenty to get sterilized when I first started asking for it.