I was 26 years old when I had my abortion. I was a single mom to a 3 year old and I had a full time job and my own place. I would have had no issues adding another child to my life. I’d been divorced almost a year and the first man I dated after my marriage ended was controlling and abusive. I had nightmares that if I didn’t leave him that one day he’d murder me.
We’d broken up and gotten back together many times and he’d apologize and be wonderful and I’d forgive. Finally after a year together I broke it off for good, keeping my promise to myself to never go back. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant.
I was broken. I did want another child. But I knew I’d go back to him because I’d need the help. And I couldn’t. I wouldn’t do that to that child but honestly to the child I already had. I had to think of her.
So I had the abortion. It was painful yes but I told myself it was for the best and I could finally break from that abusive relationship.
Sometimes the memory is hard but whenever I start to wonder about the baby that never was I see his face and the terror returns and I know I made the best decision for myself. Because now when I look around my life he is long gone, and my daughter and I are safe.