I was 22 when I had my abortion. I had just graduated college and moved across the country to live with my boyfriend. I was on birth control, but not diligent about taking it, I used to joke with my friends that I was infertile.
At the time we lived in a tiny studio apartment, I worked part time at a coffee shop while applying for grad school, he had a good job, made just enough money to support the both of us. I can remember thinking for about two weeks that I was pregnant, but I was so scared that it might actually be true I refused to take the test. Finally I forced myself to buy one and it of course came back positive. I don’t think I have ever cried so hard. The night I took the test I made sure he would be gone most the night, I was sure I could keep it from him.
I knew immediately that I would get an abortion, I have always been extremely pro choice, so I never thought I would be so upset and scared. I can remember talking to one of my friends about it, and she told me it really wasn’t a big deal at all and I shouldn’t be so upset, everyone gets one. And I thought she was right, but I was SO upset and it was a big deal to me. I wish more than anything I had someone to tell me that I wasn’t alone and it’s ok if it was a big deal to me.
I went to Planned Parenthood to get an official test and schedule the procedure and the entire time I just sobbed, I was 9 weeks pregnant if I had waited much longer I wouldn’t have been able to do the procedure. When they told me it would be $500, which was a fortune to me at the time, I almost threw up.
I didn’t tell my parents or my boyfriend at first, but after realizing I would need financial help I told them and they were supportive. My boyfriend didn’t quite know how to act, I was so sad and scared, but he was supportive and offered to go to the clinic with me.
I went by myself to get the procedure done, I decided I would just walk home after it. The procedure itself was fine, they were extremely nice and I can remember being so loopy after the procedure and the nurses being really kind.
I was so relieved to have it over, but I still felt like I couldn’t tell anyone. I had a complication a week after because I was bleeding too much and I had to go to the hospital. I was so ashamed having to talk to the doctors about what had happened. It ended up being ok, I had worked out (or over exerted myself) too soon after the procedure. But the feeling of being alone and upset was so present for me. It still makes me sad when I think about how alone I felt. Getting an abortion was extremely emotional, but it was also extremely necessary, my life would be incomprehensibly changed. I know how lucky I am to have had easy access and a supportive family, and I hope my story can help just one young, alone, and scared girl. You will be ok, you are making the right decision, and it’s ok if it feels hard right now.