11.26.2014
Media

kathleen

I was 19 when I was pregnant. It was the second guy Ive ever had sex with in my life. I thought he was the one. When I found out I was pregnant I was terrified. Terrified of what people would think.

Terrified of what my family would think, what would mom or dad say? How can I go to college? It was all so heavy. I thought my throat would explode because of the fiery lump that sat in there. My boyfriend at the time pushed and pushed for me to “get rid of it” .. these words stung so hard..as if it was so easy… like go take out the trash.. clean up ur laundry.. this was a tough decision, and I was all alone on it . It was my body that was about to act as a home for a new human being & I did it anyways. The experience will forever be embedded into my memory… never to become undone. But am I glad? You wonder.. am I glad I did it.. I am. In a way. See it wasn’t exactly my choice. I thought about everyone but me really. I even thought about the Lil germ inside me. I did it for him. I did it for my boyfriend. Who I laid all my trust in, and if he chose this.. he had to be right? Right.. me and my boyfriend eventually broke up. He left me.. because I was unhappy and depressed for a very long time after my journey. This happens to most women.. you hear a baby cry and you always tear up. Well I’m 22 now. I have a new bf who has a five yr old. I’m glad I don’t have a child with my ex.. but I will be honest.. there hasn’t Been a day still I haven’t forgotten and there have been tears throughout. Make it your choice. Make sure you put yourself first. And make sure it’s what you want. Because if you choose something so big for someone else. You’ll only regret it later on. There’s nothing wrong with abortion, just don’t keep it a secret like I did.. it’s nice to have support especially when your support leaves you in the dust. Mom and dad are always a phone call away.. or Nan. . Or your guardian. . Or your best freind. Please do not stand alone. It’s your choice!