My husband and I found out that we were having our second baby in January 2013. Extremely unexpected, but we were over the moon. In June 2013 we found out we were having a boy. Then the nurse from the doctor’s office called. The question, “Are you in a place you can talk?” is seared into my brain.

She went on to tell me our son was suffering from hydrocephalus. Water on the brain she said. We would have to see a specialist.

We couldn’t get into the office for two weeks. Once we finally saw the doctor, he delivered the most devastating news imaginable. “Your baby has Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13 as well as a loop in his digestive tract as well as the hydrocephalus.” We had to choose. If our son beat the less than 10% chance he had of surviving, he would have the cognitive ability of a newborn. We were told we had to choose what to do. We were blessed enough to be able to consult a neurologist that was a distant family member. He came to the same conclusion. We agonized over what to do. We prayed harder than we ever have. We ultimately came to the conclusion that we would be punishing our son for being born.

We went to New Mexico to a clinic that specializes in anomalies because our state doesn’t take that into consideration. They took amazing care with us and we said good bye to our son on June 27th.