I traveled to Mexico when I was 17. I went to study pottery and Spanish. I started seeing a man 10 years older than I was- I got pregnant. He begged me to keep it. He asked me to stay in Mexico and he would take care of us or he would raise our child and I could return home to the U.S.. I was young and hardly knew myself but I knew that I didn’t love myself enough to love a child.
I didn’t want to ruin that child’s life because I was still a child. I didn’t want to need my child’s love to be ok. So a few days before I flew home I took some pills, illegal pills in Mexico. One in my mouth, one in my vagina and that started the bleeding. I flew home and was not well but was soo ashamed I faked ignorance as to what was happening to me. I wish I had trusted that I would still be loved if I told the truth. My mom would have helped me not abandoned me in this time. I didn’t tell anyone for a long time and then slowly I forgave myself. I knew I had given myself a new life, a second chance. Slowly I forgave myself and now I tell my story when it will help some one. I tell my story because I was worth a second chance.