03.05.2014
Media

Anonymous

I’m in my early 30s, married, never before pregnant. I just returned home from a surgical abortion. I grew up with a strict father and born again Christian mother, and my parents consider abortion to be the worst thing…killing a child.

I’m unemployed, and my husband is starting a business, so we can barely keep ourselves afloat financially without our parents’ help. I knew for years I did not want children. After finding out I was pregnant a couple weeks ago, there was no doubt in my mind the decision I had to make would be the right one. Financially we are not ready to have a baby. Emotionally I am not ready to have a baby either. I’ve struggled with depression for this past year, and am not out of it. The past couple weeks leading up to my surgery date were more difficult than I had imagined emotionally. Mainly because I felt guilty in regards to my parents. For years they’ve wanted a grandkid and now, I was about to do something that would severely disappoint them. The surgery itself was over so quick with general anesthesia, and immediately afterwards I was relieved to feel the nausea gone. So relieved it was over. I do think however that now I am not opposed to having a child, it just HAS to be planned. Maybe that was the lesson in all of this. And maybe that’s the anesthesia talking as it wears off. But I can honestly say that the waiting to get it done was so much worse than the actual procedure, and every child deserves to be raised by emotionally stable parent(s) who WANT them, and can provide for them. I feel so very fortunate to be able to have access to this type of procedure legally and afford-ably.