01.13.2014
Media

I’ve had 2 abortions, one when I was 19 and one when I was 23. I was with a man a lot older than me, and by the time Iwent to Planned Parenthood¬†to get the pill I was already pregnant.

I can’t say why it never had occurred to me that I would get pregnant before that, but it just didn’t. I told my mom and she took me to the clinic. I remember there were protesters outside and they made a difficult situation that much more difficult. I was upset about it after; not regret or judgment, more like sad over the loss of this potential child. I stayed with this older man and I felt guilty enough to get pregnant again later that year. I had my daughter, and then when she was around 3 I got pregnant again using a diaphragm. This time there was no doubt that I wasn’t prepared for another baby…I had recently gone back to college and while I was still with this older man, I knew I had to take care of myself. I told him both times and he was “supportive”. I never told anyone but my sister about the second one. Both my mom and my sister confided in me that they had also had abortions so I didn’t feel judged. I’m not at all religious so I don’t put any stock into what a god would think about what I did, and I have zero regrets. My choices enabled me to finish college and graduate school. Only my closest friends know about the first one, and it’s just something I keep to myself. I’ve been with my present partner for 15 years and I’ve never even told him.