I was 16 when I got pregnant. I was an honour roll student and had never gotten in real trouble before. My boyfriend was 19. I got pregnant only a little while after losing my virginity.
I had tried to cover all the bases, I started the pill, and used condoms. One night the condom broke, but since I was on the pill, I didn’t worry too much. Just in case, I got the morning after pill, but it was a day later that I decided to do that. So I got pregnant through 3 levels of birth control.
I was really scared through the whole process. I had no idea I was pregnant for a long time. I got morning sickness and went to my doctor, who was a friend of my mom’s, so when she told me I was mortified.
My mother had a hard time getting pregnant and had several miscarriages. She found out by accident and got really upset. It made me feel very bad about my decision to have an abortion. She said she tried so hard and here I was killing my baby.
There is no way that I regret the abortion, but I do regret the huge chasm it created between myself and my mom, and the guilt and shame that I lived with for many years. Nobody else talked about abortion. I felt like I was really irresponsible, and it took a long time before I forgave myself.
For the procedure I was admitted to hospital and put under general anesthesia, but was home the same day. I had a lot of bleeding and mucous goop, and had to wear pads instead of tampons. I had bad cramps for a few days, but then it was over. Physically. Mentally, not so much.
That boyfriend ended up cheating on me and then running off with my best friend. I went on to complete high school and university.
I still feel guilty on May 24 weekend, I remember that well, because my friends were partying and I lied about why I wasn’t there.