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Outercourse

What is outercourse?

Outercourse—or what you might call "alternatives to sexual intercourse"—usually refers to types of sexual intimacy which do not involve oral, vaginal, or anal sex. This may include:

  • Holding hands
  • Hugs
  • Kisses
  • Petting above the belt
  • Petting below the belt
  • Mutual masturbation

But outercourse does take some discipline! Both partners must be committed to this method. Or else these exciting forms of sexual intimacy can lead to sexual intercourse. It is not an extremist position to practice only outercourse in this age of viral infections. It works better if there has been communication in advance. Decide in advance what sexual activities you will say "yes" to and discuss these with your partner. Tell your partner, very clearly and in advance, not at the last minute, what activities you will not do. At the same time learn more about the methods of birth control and safer sex so that you will be ready if you change your mind.

What are the advantages of outercourse?

  • Outercourse is always an option…no supplies and it's free!
  • There is no risk of pregnancy.
  • No fluid is exchanged, providing protection against sexually transmitted infections.
  • It can increase emotional closeness between individuals.

What are the disadvantages?

  • Touching your partner's genitals or anal area during masturbation could possibly result in transmitting STIs. You may want to use some method of protection, such as latex gloves.
  • For some partners, the desire to have intercourse can cause stress.
  • This method may have either partner thinking, "Is this going to go farther than I want?" This concern may decrease enjoyment.

Oops!

What can be done if plans change and a man and women have unprotected sex? Sperm swim very fast. In minutes after ejaculation into the vagina, sperm are up through the uterus into the fallopian tubes, where they will meet up with the egg, if an egg is there. Read about Emergency Contraception, a method that can be used after unprotected sex.

Adapted from Hatcher RA et al. Contraceptive Technology. 18th rev. edition. New York, NY: Ardent Media, 2004.

Additional Information >> Contraceptive Choices

Chart Comparing the Effectiveness of Various Methods :: Contraceptive Myths & Facts :: Local Clinics & Hotlines

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